This may make some uncomfortable

this post is going to be a little more personal than i normally do. well, i guess thats not entirely true. all of these posts are personal, but this is the kind of personal i dont tend to talk about.

[except to my girls who i tend to talk to so much about this im sure its irritating.]

it was sparked by a show i went to last night. it was an acoustic we are scientists show. it was great for a number of reasons. but the thing that has stuck in my brain and has not left. the lead singer was gorgeous. i mean hot.

[it makes me cringe to say it, but its just the right word]

amazingly blue eyes, funky weird indie hair

[with gray in it to boot!]

beautiful cheekbones and so on and so forth. it absolutely wows me how many beautiful people there are in the world. it makes me wonder why anyone settles for those who are not extraordinarily pretty

[or at least those who they think are extraordinarily pretty]

i dont know what i am talking about now. basically, i dont want to settle

[yes this is the totally superficial post]

for someone i am not crazy go nuts in awe of their beauty. but then again, really, who is that pretty in real life. what real people look like the movie stars and rock stars we all adore, its part of the reason they are the rock and movie stars.

then again....i have some absolutely gorgeous friends. i know some incredibly pretty people. i just wish i could fall in love with one...

if wishing made it so

Hello!

its been a while...i know.

but i am just getting used to the idea of working and doing my own stuff. i guess thats kinda the whole deal. where workaholics come from. balance. its elusive at the moment, but im trying. at least i am aware that i need to find that elusive balance.

but i love the tube, i sit there and listen to whatever im in the mood to listen to

[the hives, the holloways, tokyo police club...whatever]

i plot, hatch plans and write in a brown paper journal.

anyway, i am psyched my sister is back on this side of the ocean. i have an amazing job, with fantastic benefits

[concert tickets, cool people to hang out with...jealous yet?]

and hope that i can do some stuff for Stayaways boys as they are some of my favourite people in the world at the moment.

i also have some amazing news...i may be able to stay here.

[as i listen to giggling from the next room. i love it.]

my boss

[i have a boss called Rupert, have i said this yet?]

is in the process of applying for a visa for me to stay. i can't quite believe it. but i figure that if i get it, i am meant to stay, if i don't then i go home, hang out, start again, and work towards that utopian dream with my friends...

things are really good here.

links to new stuff i have made by the way...the boring stuff!

The Courteeners
Young Knives
In Session: Young Knives
Panic At The Disco
Go:Audio
Go:Audio Goes Acoustic

its great. the editors very much like me and my work. its wonderful, i love the encouragement and well...they all love me. awesome. they are so very cool.

:-)

so happy

an update...

a quick update as i am getting over being ill and am still getting used to getting up and working everyday.

[oh the laziness has deep roots. i did kind of like having a strange schedule, though i could make it that way, but i have too much work to do...]

wow, im a responsible adult. strange.

anyhow, the update is this, two videos of mine are up more should be coming down the pike...enjoy!

rocklouder.co.uk-paramore

clickmusic.co.uk-guillemots

im quite proud of the guillemots thing, its pretty strange, they are cool and bizarre. dont like their music that much-their single

["get over it" out march 25?]

is pretty good though.

by the by...mgmt, has hit it pretty big...they are pretty awesome. everyone should be getting into their stuff

brilliant lyrics written by strange boys

surf/jungle/country

awesome.

i missed it again!

damn damn damn. i keep forgetting that never mind the buzzcocks

[one of the best shows on television]

is on at 9pm on thursdays. crap. oh well, thank god for internet television.

i went today to see a blood red shoes perform at an instore at sister ray. a pretty

[apparently]

famous record shop in soho. they were outstanding. it is a duo from brighton who make these kick ass punk rock songs, that are also so rock'n'roll. laura-mary sings and plays guitar

[and she is so incredibly cool and sexy and incredible]

she was ill and couldn't sing, so the drummer, stephen, did the set alone. it was only five songs but singing and playing the drums

[especially the way they sing]

is unbelievably hard. he is hardcore punk rock. im impressed and want good things for them. great songwriters and interesting musical arrangements.

rock on rock on

it was great...

some very very good news

i have a job. a real life grown up job.

i am running the video department of a consortium of online music magazines. it is run by a network called sonic network. and the magazines are as follows...

www.clickmusic.co.uk
www.thisisfakediy.co.uk
www.rocklouder.co.uk


anyway, i am really very excited. its is amazing. a real paying job. i will be able to pay for rent, food, transport and other fun stuff all by myself.

plus, there is a chance that they will see if they can get me a visa and stuff. so i have to make it good.

its exciting and scary because i not only do i want to do well for me, but i am dying to impress them.

and to top it all off, at lunch i ran into matt, the guitarist from the rakes. its a sign, and a pretty fucking great one.

anyway, that is all for now, i am tired. actually getting up and doing stuff is really exhausting. but i shall get into the swing of things and have many interesting stories to tell and more things to talk about.

at some point i want to talk about heath ledger, the election amongst other things...more to come, more to come...

wierd....

its february. thats bizzarre. time is passing so incredibly quickly. but actually, even though i have decided and

[am soon to]

book my ticket home in april, i am not sad i am leaving. it has given me a lightness. like i only have a year to live...dont get me wrong, i am going to continue to apply for jobs and such, but there is an excitement i have about it now. there is no pressure. thank god.

i have realised that 6 months is no where near enough time to create contacts and to get steadily working. im not excusing myself

[i mean i am sort of]

but more than that, i am beginning to understand my limits...strange how growth is.

but i think the reason i am ok with this, is that i know its not the last time im going to be here and live here

[even though sometimes in bad moments i think so]

no, if i can't find a way back here job-wise, im going to go back to school. grad school and such. i need to find a way to pay for it

[crap]

but there is a great program at the university of east london that is very exciting for me.

this time here has been unbelievably important for me. i feel like i have discovered me and have been able to live in it. really live in it. its been amazing...and i have three months left here.

i am very excited now to go home, to find more jobs, to do a similar thing at home.

never before have i felt the importance of the sun and spring, i am so excited for spring for some reason.

[strange]

ive been watching studio 60 on the sunset strip. it has its pitfalls of course, it did lose its way about a third of the way through the series, and i completely understand why it got cancelled. saying all that though, the writing was great all the way through. the characters are amazing the setting is wonderous. i love the behind the curtain stuff

[even though it probably just adds to my sense of delirium about what reality is]

it makes me sentimental to working on a television show.

[not that i have ever worked on a television show...]

i want the community and the stress of show time and all that crap. i am excited. who the hell knows why.

good television, its not an oxymoron, it is possible and i want to work on it.